Terrible Names For A Business

So many dry cleaners, nail salons, and donut shops have very generic signs that just say what their business does.  Like this one:

But naming your business is incredibly important.   You need something that’s going to set you apart from the other million people doing the exact same thing.  With that in mind,  I present a few examples of terrible/awesome names of business that I will definitely go to.

"No for the last time, please stop calling us. You aren't funny." -Disgruntled Beaver Cleaners employee hanging up phone


"Butt really, they know their shit."

"I think it sounds even better than it looks."

"I don't give a shit if white people think this is funny, it's what I want to name my company, God dammit." - Mr. Hing.


"GTD. Gym, Tan, Die."

"I went in and they gave me a mani-pedi. I was so pissed." -Someone named Mike with an arm band tattoo


"Are you still using Short as Shit Gas Supply? I find these new guys, they are way better."

"It's hard for them to get any business taken care of, they never get out of the truck."


"Their sales are REALLY strong in the morning but tend to dwindle off at the end of the day."

"This is what old Italian women call furniture without plastic covers."

"I feel like this service wasn't great. I mean, it wasn't terrible. I'm trying to think of how I would classify it. Decent? No, that's not it."

"I'm sorry, I just feel way too bloated to trade with you right now. Can we trade tomorrow morning?"

"Pull over..."

"On a first date?"


3 Responses to Terrible Names For A Business

  1. Andy Wallace says:

    I regret not having snapped a pic of a construction site near my home in St Louis many years ago… proudly proclaiming “Big Boy’s Steel Erections”

    • tom moore says:

      one of the best i saw was in St. Thomas V.I. it was for a sewer Co. it said we’re # 1 in a #2 business. i laughed everytime i saw it (yeah i know im easily amused)

  2. Amanda says:

    the great thing about the Tillicum Motor Inn? It’s right next door to a strip club. I’m not shitting you. I drive through this town about once a month.

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