Mitt Romney Reviews “The Hunger Games”

We hear at These Fries Are Good like to think of ourselves as a forum for people to express themselves.  That’s why we were overjoyed when Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney asked us if he could review “The Hunger Games” on our blog.

Just like you, my family and I are celebrateurs of the Hunger Games trilogy.  I remember sitting in my present wrapping room on the sixth floor of my March home, as my shoeshiner read it aloud to me.   The thrilling adventures between Katniss and her friends reminded me of my Lacrosse days on the Romney compound.  So it was with great excitement that I attended a midnight showing of the film on it’s opening night, in the theater next to the bowling alley in the east wing of our home. I would have watched it sooner, but my wife and I, much like you, enjoy eating dinner and making love for 7-9 minutes, which is the average love-making session of southern voters who make less than 45,000 dollars a year, whom I happen to be very much like.

The film starts with Katniss mired in poverty, never quite sure where her next meal is going to come from. This is something that struck quite a chord with me, as sometimes, when I return home from a long day, I will often times enter the wrong dining room, fully expecting a meal to be waiting for me.  Instead, nothing, and my hunger pangs, much like Katniss.  Sometimes I’m forced to search ALL FOUR  dining rooms of my home to find the location with which my personal chef has laid out my meal.

I frequent the internet so I know I am not to alert anyone of spoils, but SPOILS ALERT!, Katniss is one formidable opponent!  I would hate to engage with her in fisticuffs, I can tell you that right now!  I enjoyed her fight against the government, and saw us as kindred spirits.  Much like her, I’m fighting against a cruel government, but instead of doing it in a blood filled arena where others are trying to kill me, I’m doing it in the halls of Washington.  And instead of doing it to save my younger sister from certain death, I’m doing it to stop this brutal class warfare and taxation of job creators.   On a side note, I have heard that many people have objected to the casting of African Americans in the roles of “Rue” and “Thresh,” and let me just say DEFINITIVELY RIGHT NOW, that I feel the same way as you who is reading this essay feel.  All in all, I have to say that this was a movie, and cinematically, it had pictures that were moving!  Okay, that’s all for now!  Maybe I’ll run in to you at one of your local establishments that serves wine and spirits, as I enjoy the comradery of sitting with my fellow man and having a brewed hop-based beverage.

2 Responses to Mitt Romney Reviews “The Hunger Games”

  1. Laura says:

    oh Mitt, we know you don’t drink. Don’t pretend otherwise.

  2. Mitch says:

    Ha, ha, ha. Romney would still be a better president than Obama is. When you get your movie, or TV show or another book deal, make sure you pay extra taxes because deductions aren’t fair.

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