If NFL Team Names Were Honest

NFL teams like to have really intimidating names, but most of those names are not at all indicative of the product on the field.  So, because I’m a bitter Charger fan who has no one to root for, I decided to take a crack at renaming some of them with a little help from my buddy Patrick Schumacker.  All of the photoshop work that’s good, was done by my friend Brian Huntington who runs the site notzombies.com.  The ones that are crappy were done by me.  I bow down to his photoshop work.  Enjoy.








57 Responses to If NFL Team Names Were Honest

  1. Dan Daoust says:

    Ha! Do a thing with the Bills’ logo where they’re called the Nut Punches.

  2. I would like to suggest a Cleveland Browns “Concussions.”

  3. Theres some good ones on here esp. Pittsburgh

  4. Jeffrey Crabill says:

    Great job! If you could make a Seahawks one that somehow references this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDd5DPAGoCk then you’ll have won over this stranger.

  5. jeff says:

    Why did you use a fan-made concept logo as the basis for your Cardinals logo but real team logos for the rest of them?

  6. Dr. Hooligan says:

    the fudgePacker one is dead on. there is nothing to do in the state of Wisconsin. just a state full of over weight, jobless hillbillies.

    • Tyler says:

      Hey now. Us Wisconsinites are not all jobless hillbillies.

    • Ryguy085 says:

      Good one. So where do you live and work skinny?

    • Brad says:

      Wisconsin is a great state. Dr. Hooligan is sorely uneducated when it comes to this country. First, the fattest state is Mississippi. 2nd Nevada is the state with the highest unemployment rate and lastly hillbillies are found in Tennessee and Kentucky (mainly) and they aren’t ashamed of people knowing that.

    • DM says:

      i’m self employed in wisconsin and there really isn’t a whole lot to do here, but then again there are concerts, comedy shows, winter sports, summer sports, beer, good weed, hot chicks & amazing artists.

    • BryB says:

      There OS nothing wrong with Wisconsin. there may not be much to do, but the beer is good and cheap. and brad is right. hillbillies come.from.Ky and Tn

  7. christine says:

    I live near Jax and just laughed for about 15 min straight then looked at the jogs logo again and laughed another 15. Hysterical!

  8. christine says:

    *jags logo :)

  9. Mark W. says:

    San Diego should have something to do with Novak pissing on the sideline .. ‘Urgent -Pee Breaks’ haha

  10. junuper says:

    Actually, Cleveland’s should be the “Maybe Next Years”

  11. Todd says:

    Way to show your San Diego homerism come out with a terrible name for Indy. It’s so easy this year…

    Indianapolis Mannings

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  13. Bubba says:

    Oh my god…I coughed up a lung laughing at these! DO THE REST OF THE LEAGUE!

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  17. Mike says:

    As I Jets fan, I hate you. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I hate me too. But mostly I hate you.

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  20. 30/30 says:

    It pains me that the Titans don’t even merit being made fun of.

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  23. mat says:

    as a pats fan, i really dont understand the animosity towards them outside of spygate, and we all know every team in the league has done what the pats did at one point or another. But the eagles not getting any choking, dog killing, fake dream team comments? i would have thought they would have been smeared on here.

  24. Snow bird says:

    These people are very sick and need help !!!!!!!!

  25. While I agree with your point about the Jets. Its just kinda harsh…

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  27. Rick says:

    Indianapolis should just be: Horse Shit

  28. Faltou o NY Pequeninos, mas tá justo.

  29. BillinBoise says:

    As a lifelong San Diego Charger fan, I’m pretty familiar with disappointment and frustration. Since the ‘bolts spend a helluva lot of time around .500, call them the San Diego Mendozas…welcome to the “No ring zone.”

  30. BillinBoise says:

    Add the slogan “Commitment to Excrement.”

  31. scott says:

    You forgot the Cleveland Browns – were a potentially great quarterbacks goes to suck!

  32. Mike Wert says:

    how about the Buccaneers…more the the Suckaneers

  33. Justin says:

    I died on the Pittsburgh one hahaha

  34. Nathan says:

    How about one for my Panthers?

    “3rd and 1, 4th and 29″

  35. Lee says:

    You only did 16 teams, and included Jacksonville. We must not be THAT irrelevant…

  36. james m says:

    Pats fans need that Giants one like right now! haha

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  39. MaxtonNOLA says:

    I’m wondering how y’all could make fun of the saints…the past 3 years is the first time in the history of the team we haven’t been made fun of.

  40. Leonidas says:

    Do the Redskins! My suggestion: Racist Name. From DC, BTW.