Football is BACK!

Football is finally back, and not a moment too soon! I was running out of excuses for skipping religious and family obligations. It is time for another season of false hope for most of us, paired with a mutual hatred for Bill Belichick. Here are a few of my favorite football follies that have me excited for another disappointing season for my favorite team.

“But Coach, I don't want to be number 93. I've been 98 my entire life. I'm a huge Mike Ditka fan! Why do I have to wear 93?”
“Don't argue with me Berry! Just do it!”

“OH-EMM-GEE I totally hooked up with Sparky last night!” -Soroity girl of Oregon

“Haha! That's amusing! I almost don't mind that it's -10 outside!”

Kickers can NOT catch a break.

“Punt team! We're shy 3 men out there! Where are 'Moore', 'Goode', and 'Dick'! I need 'Moore, Goode, Dick'!”

“Strike! Strike! Strike!”

“God damnit I hate you…”
“I hate you so much…”

“I always wondered what ESPN stood for…”

A punter's revenge…

“I almost won the Heisman…what happened to me?!”

“I could be a replacement ref…looks like a sweet gig…”

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