Justin Samuel Halpern was born in a tiny fishing village called “San Diego.”  There he spent most of his life being yelled at by his father.  Then he transcribed those things on a twitter page called “@shitmydadsays.”  Then he wrote a book of the same name.  Then he co-created a shitty TV show of the same name.  Then, when he had exploited the success of someone else’s words as much as he possibly could, he started this site with his long time friend and conspiracy theorist, Ryan Walter.  His sole purpose is to make just enough money to pay Ryan a salary so he can buy raw goat’s milk, the only milk that hasn’t been poisoned by the government/illuminati.

You can buy his first book, Shit My Dad Says HERE.

You can buy pre-order his new book, I Suck At Girls HERE.  It will also be available in stores May 15, 2012.