Occupy a math class.

There has been a glut of coverage about the richest 1% of American society on the TV. Personally, I am sick of it….because it’s a chickenshit argument. To have an honest debate based on a statistic, the numbers need to be more accurate.  There are roughly 320 million Americans, 1% would be 3.2 million. Think about that, 3+ million Kings and Queens. My guess is that there aren’t even 50,000  influential citizens in the whole world. Do you think the elites would distribute their wealth in such a reckless, haphazard manner? Grow up.

In the United States, the real number of Diamond-class Citizens is probably closer to 32,000 or .0001% of the population. If planning to attend an extended urban campout/protest, please use .0001% and 99.9999%, so it will appear that the participants of the moral fest comprehend mathematics.

"Don't be so humble. You're greater than that."

The other problem with lambasting Capitalism’s royals is the .0001% of Americans who do actually have a vote in our society treats the 99.9999% much better than their foreign counterparts. If Americans bothered to travel internationally they would better understand and appreciate that truth. Since this is the internet and most web denizens are either:  ADHD, high, just plain “slow” or have been failed by public schools, I’ve created a list to make it easier for you to follow along.

REASONS AMERICAN PEASANTS HAVE IT GOOD

1. Only about 1 in every 100 American adults is locked up. Which if you ask me is pretty good odds….gambling odds. Granted in the United States 4% of the world’s population incarcerates 25% of the total global prisoners, but that’s taking a negative view. Prisons create jobs. BOOM! And as society locks more people up, employment rates go down. Win win.

"hmmm. This is a pretty chill job. ...My face gets all sweaty though. Hey Carl, Does your chin get all itchy?? ...Mine does."

1. As long as they can afford a car, registration, insurance and gas poor people have full access to America’s beautiful road system for free.* It’s not like rich people have their own Zil lane, Soviet style. The megalomaniacs do have their own planes and airports, but they earned that.

*Poorer appearing cars and occupants attract greater scrutiny from law enforcement leading to more tickets, fines, arrests, legal fees, etc.

1. Other than cell phones, car GPS’s, OnStar overseers, satellites, drones, helicopters, police patrols, internet usage records, social media profiles and omnipresent closed-circuit video cameras there just isn’t widespread surveillance of America’s lower caste. Everybody thought Big Brother would have implanted microchips inside poor people by now, but they haven’t. Explain that conspiracy theorist!  I’m waiting…….

"Aliens. Next question."

1. Upwards of half of the experimental pharmaceuticals currently doping the masses work somewhat as stated, without too, too many harsh side effects….usually. Who are you and I to question doctors? They went to school for a really long time AND they took an oath.

By now you’ve realized that whining about the gentry is unpatriotic. I’m proud of you kid. The next time you feel the world is full of injustice, just take a few deep breaths, pop open a piss beer, unwrap your fast food, turn on some meaningless game or reality TV show and bask in its bluish glow…… and please shut the fuck up about the .0001%.

"OK. THIS is living."

God wants the world to be exactly the way it is, protesting his will is the worst sin of all.

"I was watching the new Dallas. Don't try to change the channel."

2 Responses to Occupy a math class.

1. So not sure if you are for or against but you make some good points, yeah it could be worse but it could be way better! Really at the end of the day is the guy with the mega yacht that much happier than the girl with the mountain bike? Some days yes some days no! I guess I’m not going to be the girl with the mega yacht so I’ll learn to be stoked with my bike and wait for all the disgruntled folk to blow each other up:)

2. Kelsey Hatlevik says:

Things that make you hmmmm…especially when put under a magnifying glass. America the beautiful, it’s sometimes not the prettiest picture of society. While Big Brother may be watching, does he always care?Also, isn’t it the dream to aspire for more, realising in the end that more isn’t always better? Or maybe that’s just the peasant in me thinking out loud?

As well, loved the title, but sometimes math is just hard…